# Society
Author: [Borttaget]

I can’t breath.  
The air won’t fill my lungs as I inhale your words. The words you spit out on me are choking me when you make me swallow them.  
As I plead to you, begging you to stop, You make the blade go harder on my throat. You scream out ”I’ll marry a blade to your throat, A blade made out of words”. And the blade that rests on my throat is slowly cutting its way into my skin. Carving and finding ways to make me bleed.  
Its like your deaf to my voice as i beg for help and you’re numb to my touch as I take your hand.  
I realise that you run faster than your guilt and so I stand up and make my voice go loud. I unleash my will to survive and my will to be seen. I make people see me when society wants me to be quiet and follow rules. My need doesn’t agree with your expectation.  
You point and you judge, But I don’t give a shit. Breathe dead air with me because in this society the air is molded by tears. The air is poisoned by your prejudices and expectations. Why aren’t you fighting with me?  
What keeps us from fighting the war we we’re bred for?  
As I call myself a warrior I fight the war I was bred for. This is my war, created by the society. A war without an ending. It is your fault. I blame you for every battle I’ve lost in this never ending war. I will never be free from your words and your pointing fingers. I will always be the one wiping the blood of the floor after my attempts to free the pain.  
It is like I was born to rip the flesh out of my own bones. With every cut I feel a little more free and i know i deserve it. It is the only pain I can control and therefore it is precious to me. It is a privilege to control your own pain.  
But I guess i am just blinded by the blood on my lens but if it’s true what I see then we’re all fucked by the society. There is hope in my life and fear in my eyes. But I am still alive because of the urge to know that I am not alone.  
Certain became searching a long time ago. And when people speak of me they always tell each other stories of how I fought with myslef and how I never stopped searching for an answer.    
So when i breathe the dead air the society created I feel numb. Like nothing makes sense anymore. I, like many others have these expectations on their shoulders that they can’t fulfill. But i want it so badly. To be seen and accepted. So I protest in the most silent way you can while I scream without saying anything. Because no one will care enough to do something about it and alone I am nothing. It doesn’t matter if I am angry. It doesn’t matter if i am happy. What matters is if I am silent or not.  
If someone notices my scars they will send me to a mental hospital. That is the way it works. Instead of facing the problem they will just get rid of me. And I have to admit that I am scared. I can’t breathe in this society and I loose more and more battles. And my hope is like an eraser, With every mistake it gets smaller.  
I walk alone with my head down in a crowd full of people. And yet I’ve never felt so alone before. I feel like death is around me all the time and i am just waiting for him to take me away from here. I am only sixteen years old but already marked as a failure. Why was i brought to this world of blodshed and slaughter? Why do I already have your words tied around my neck and your blades resting on my throat? Why do you try to infect my mind with your words and expectations?  
I’ve done so many stupid things but I’ve done nothing to merit forgiving. I am a failure close to giving up and nothing can stop me but myself.  
  
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